The Monster Cried Words:
“If its any consolation- I have become the MONSTER that I’d made you out to be [which you never were, it just SHOWED ME UP]…
Not screaming & crying, cuz screaming i can’t cry, crying i can’t scream, & now I can’t do either- just act numb, watch it all go by, from behind a fogged up, green, musty, semi solid something- maybe glass- except that’s kind of cliched.
I’m like a slate wiped dry, plying ( not just playing ) with fire, with things my brain barely understands, bits of Saturn rings and some of my brain cells make a horrible mixture, right in my head right now. Its like I’m displayed in an open shop window-no matter how horrible that sounds in whichever part of the world it sounds
its worse right here, inside. The inward is far greater than the outward.
I know a little bit, i think, but can you see how much my world revolves around me-
breathing off these words- how ugly i am inside-like a horrid blankness, a flat awful nothing.
To awe or to impress, or maybe just hold on to a platform that no longer seems to hold me. believe me. No matter how selfish this sounds I hold all the stuff i say more than anyone else.
I trapped myself cuz i refused to listen. To H.K.”