There’s so much we miss out on because of these little things- like what were you thinking of and how do you do and was there anything interesting that happened to you?
Its pure raw emotion that we communicate in instead, I can’t look up at you, but you can’t stop looking at me, and it cracks my heart that we didn’t have any other conversation except with our emotions and it breaks my heart that I couldn’t give you any other emotional moment or any sharing or anything at all, just my raw emotions that seemed so much like a blinding wrapper now.. I hate that you couldn’t tell me anything else, I hate that I wanted to tell you more but I couldn’t .. I hate the unsaid missed moments that we could have had instead.. and yet I’m enthralled by it all..
When I look at others, especially the selfies, its as if their lives are all pulled together much more so than mine, like they wear their smiles better, and don’t ever look frumpy or out of place, even when their hair is just out of bed or their clothes are all dirty even the ones they will wear tomorrow, they just seem that much more photogenic and superior to me, walking in a sophisticated world of their own modern making, where up doesn’t quite mean up and down doesn’t quite mean sideways either, they are just Vlah! Vi! O!
And I look at them and feel sad because though I know that every human feels pain, and experiences clumsiness, they probably always feel it with more grace and decorum, without a hair out of its limits, without knocking things over and walking on them, without saying all the awkward things I do.
I don’t know how they do that- not embarass themselves at all even in their altercations and scandals, and fits